This is the story of my own IVF experience for any older father.
Note: there are similar blog posts here ut this is updated.
I thought our baby was impossible.
I will say this about my wife, not only is she the best thing that ever happened to me she has an incredible future vision.
When we first met way back in 2009 and I had invited her for dinner she asked me if I would like more children (as I have four already).
I wasn’t sure but I said yes, all the same.
She didn’t know then but there were some very obvious hurdles to overcome. One being I had a vasectomy 16-years earlier (that’s a real hurdle).
I told her and she simply replied “OK we can get it reversed.“ The problem was the reversal rates for 16-years post-operation and a man my age is extremely low. It also depends on how the initial operation had been carried out as some surgeons simply remove most of the vas deferens (think long spaghetti). If that is the case there is zero hope.
After a two-year search, we found and paid for the very best. He was amazing and had pioneered a new technique to re-join the pipes. After almost 4-hours of neurosurgery, it looked like everything had been fixed. They can tell you there and then if the pipes have been re-opened. They had been. Now, all we had to do is wait and see.
My wife would say to me, “don’t worry darling our child is coming.” I wasn’t that sure at this point.
A couple of years later everything was working fine but still no baby. So, we tried IVF. This sounds extremely commonly successful but the reality is the failure rate is pretty high. It failed once, it failed twice so we decided to stop for a minute.
My wife would still say, “don’t worry darling our child will be lying here between us.” All I was thinking is this look impossible and if you looked at the reasons for that it should have been impossible.
For half a year we went to our other home in Tbilisi in 2018. I carried on my work and writings and my wife had arranged a final try at IVF whilst we were there.
We went, we got started and … the first attempt we were pregnant. It was twins (one vanished at 6-weeks).
Once we found out we had a few issues along the way but my wife kept on saying everything would be fine and our child is now on its way.
On April 13th of this year – 2019 – Demna Davit our son arrived.
I just could not believe it but my wife could. She said, “Darling I told you he was coming, this is your son.” I cried and cried and loved and loved my new son. Born 30-years after my first and born against a lot of impossible odds.
And he is perfect, just perfect as is my wife.
My wife gave me a lesson here and it was powerful. Not only was it powerful it was also a wake-up call. A wake-up call as I think my own mind had become lazy, jaded and maybe lost some strength after years of certain life experiences taking place in the past.
The lesson was simple.
You have to believe it has arrived otherwise it will never arrive. You have to see that it is here or it will never be here. You have to be able to feel it, smell it, hold it, touch and KNOW in every cell of your body that it is already right in front of you otherwise it will never be right in front of you.
I took that reminder and lesson and re-applied it to a lot of areas in my life right now. The power has been incredible.
There is a power in every human that is beyond what is normal. I don’t understand how it works and not all things have to be understood but this power can do incredible things once it is released and harness for better things.
I have never felt the need to put pictures of things anywhere as a reminder of anything I want because I have always got what I went for in my life. My wife reminded me that I should have visual reminders. Every single picture she puts on her office wall … she has without fail watched them arrive into her life (and I mean everything). She is a believer.
I have always been a believer and a dreamer. My wife’s love has re-awaken that power in me and inspired me to make a new series of changes in my life.
The impossible can be possible when you truly believe that the impossible can be overcome. One ounce of doubt and that hurdle will never be crossed.
Can you make your own impossible possible?