Having a New Family when you’ve had a new family
In 1989, I had the start of my new family and I loved every second of it – as hard and tough as it was.
By 2009 I was divorced and broken with no family that really wanted a lot to do with me at that time. In my late forties, I felt everything was lost. I didn’t realise I had met my future wife in March that same depressing year. It was just one hello to another and nothing more.
By 2011 to this very day – November 11th we had become a couple. The Christmas that followed saw my future wife visit me for Christmas and never go home again. It sounds perfect and honestly … it was.
She would want a family at some point. I said I would but wasn’t sure how due to my vasectomy.
Now I am having a new family despite that fact I did this years ago. How do I feel?
It’s hard to describe how I feel having a new baby at 56-years of age. I feel elated, happy and have that feeling you have when having a new family. I keep seeing moments and situations and scenarios on my mind approaching but from a different more experienced perspective.
Yes, I have thoughts of all kinds of things of being a dad again in my fifties but for me this is simply a continuous moment in my life rather than a constructed moment where a lost man tries to recreate the past. For me this is the future and this is right now. I can’t wait to hold that baby in my arms for as many minutes in every day as I can.
I don’t feel daunted by the prospect in the slightest. In 2009, I felt destroyed and also felt no woman could want a man with four kids and divorced and broke. I was wrong. One hello led to another meeting that finally led to us being together. And now we are having a new family despite having a new family in the past and it feels like a wonderful moment in my 55-years of life.