The old dad project is dedicated to ALL old new older dads over forty, fifty and more.
Being a father again over the age of fifty brings a ton of questions and experiences like IVF or vasectomy reversal, getting fit again and simply the prospect of being an old new dad. I’m happy to share everything I am going through and have gone through so far.
Would you SHARE YOUR OLD DAD STORY with other old dads around the world?
Being an old dad is as new as being a first time dad. You might have done it all before but it really is different.
If you have been there as an old new dad already I’d love to know your story. If you share your story it could be added to a new book where you will help and inspire older fathers just like you (or kill them - depends on the story ;-). The book is due this spring/summer.
The Old Dad, Alan
My wife is 14-years younger than me or I am 14-years older than her.
So with her age difference and then new kids on top of that you are going to need to be brought back to life or even resurrected ;-)
So depending on what kind of guy you are you might be lacking in energy or be fine. I am writing this post on the basis that you are a typical older dad - TIRED!
The first thing to be said here is the only other people looking at this stuff are in their late twenties … maybe YOUNGER than my eldest son!
So let's get to it.
A young guy asks us if we need help. I reply yes can you show us how this pram comes apart and changes? His reply, NO it’s too complicated to put back together.
Picasso at 68 - new bay, old dad.
Chaplin at 68, new baby, old dad.
Tolstoy at 69, new baby, old dad.
Now Ronnie Wood 68 his wife 38, the rolling stone that gathers no moss.
We asked, she replied… clearly it’s a boy after showing us a scan image of what was clearly boys parts - very clearly!
The thrill is thrilling. It makes me feel engaged, alive and as excited as any first father. There is more. The passing of life makes you realise that life is too fast. You never feel it is too fast when it is passing but looking back in older age you realise it then. Suddenly the babies are all almost 30-years old. Its a speed that has no real measure.
Old dads Gordon Ramsay and of course myself. Gordon Ramsay on his fifth child at 52.
It’s hard to describe how I feel having a new baby at 56-years of age. I feel elated, happy and have that feeling you have when having a new family. I keep seeing moments and situations and scenarios on my mind approaching but from a different more experienced perspective.
My darling wife is 12-weeks pregnant and we have a new child coming along in April. I can only pray it is more of its mother rather than is rather eccentric rule breaking father.
But maybe not at the same time. A mix would be good.
The excitement of this part of my life is indescribable
Today is the 12-week scan since the implantation. It’s 3D so we never had that when I had my first son 30-years earlier. This is the scan that tells you everything is going to be fine. They measure fingers, toes the lot. I can’t wait.
Three years after my vasectomy reversal we did two rounds of IVF in the U.K. AT St. Mary’s in Manchester. The problem being an old dad with four children is the system doesn’t support us for the usual three rounds. My wife fought for one and then battled for two. Thats the great part of being married to a woman that wont take no for an answer.
It’s freezing cold in Hartlepool. It’s also October 16th and I am about to have a brilliant surgeon reverse my vasectomy in a clinic in the strangest city on Earth.
I spent a few years looking for the right guy to do this. Reversals are notoriously difficult
I don’t remember obsessing as much over my first four kids. Maybe its because these days you can see everything and get everything and anything online or in an App.
How to dress like a cool dad isn’t as easy as it looks. But as an older dad over fifty you need to stick to a few rules.
IVF for older dads can play with your mind. These are the dramatic notes from my iPhone. This is a typical IVF event.
IVF for an older dad, where do I start.
My wife is 14-years younger than me (I AM A CLICHE).
The first date we went on in London i 2010 she asked me if I would ever want another child? I replied saying yes.
She didn’t know I had had a vasectomy in 1998 but I always felt I wanted more children. I’ll tell you more about that in another post.
How old is too old to be a dad again? I’ve no idea but as a 56 year old dad I know i have to make changes.
Becoming a father in your 50s does raise a lot of internal questions especially this one.
Would I live long enough to see the child grow into an adult?
Here is what I felt.
I know a guy my age that had never seen, heard or met his father. My own wife’s father died suddenly when she was just 17-years old. A friend of mine had lost his father when he was just 7-years old. I could go on. Even my own dad first met his father when he was 19 years of age.